A Nevada cowboy was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him.
The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"
The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high- resolution photo.
The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany.
Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.
Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP Laser Jet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."
"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says the cowboy.
He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.
Then the cowboy says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"
The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"
You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government", says the cowboy.
"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
"No guessing required." answered the cowboy.
"You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked.
You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about cows... this is a herd of sheep."
"Now give me back my dog."
28.12.07
6.8.07
Umbrella killer is still free ... take care!!!!
Umbrella killer is still free ... take care!!!!
Originally uploaded by Piotrr.
Those pictures I took yesterdays evening. Unvisible umbrella killer :) killed them without mercy. I have to fight to save my own umbrella. This black one is mine. You can see is injured. Take care killer is still free!!!! :)
tiny bugs
Originally uploaded by hoffnungwell.
These tiny bugs usually fly away so quickly that I really appreciated when this one quietly posed for me for a while. What an amazing creature...
the mouthful
the mouthful
Originally uploaded by wintercove.
An unexpected moment as a whale surged thru the surface while feeding close to shore, and I wasn't prepared with the best of camera settings!!! I may go a long time before this opportunity comes again lol!
5.8.07
Dutch corridors
Dutch corridors
Originally uploaded by ubiquity_zh.
Added to the Cream of the Crop pool as my most favorited / most commented on / most viewed and "most interesting" picture all in one!
Winner of the Theme Competition 119, "Architecture"
29.7.07
My Shark, Look at that face!!
My Shark, Look at that face!!
Originally uploaded by SheHartley.
Ok, in my defense, this was taken seconds after the shark came out of the water and he flipped just as Dallas was taking the picture(that is an eight once weight that is flipping above the sharks head), and of corse it was the only one taken with me holding it! Sooooo here ya go, laugh at my expence because of my expression but just remember.................. I CAUGHT A HAMMER HEAD SHARK!!!!
Close Enough For You?
Close Enough For You?
Originally uploaded by schleprockfisher.
Close Enough For You?
I couldn't get any closer to this lemon shark at Tiger Beach in the Bahamas. He looks mean and nasty, but was as mellow as they get
26.7.07
25.7.07
23.7.07
Day 2 - I'm really a robot.
Day 2 - I'm really a robot.
Originally uploaded by snorrrlax.
I lost my front tooth a few years ago to a very hard biscuit (take my advice, when someone says to you "be careful not to break your teeth on these" when handing you a plate of cheese and biscuits - listen very, very carefully). The silver part is the smooth covering of the titanium screw which holds the porcelain tooth in place. According to my dentist, this is the one part of my body which will still be around when all the rest is gone. I've thought of having it engraved with something....suggestions would be welcome!
For those who are interested in the process of the surgery which led me here (I've always wished I took more photos during the two years it took), check out izatchu's brilliant photoset the toof which will now be a reminder to me why it's such a joyful experience to eat a sandwich.
365 days/21 Nov 2006/day 2
This is the most interesting photo on flickr tagged with 'dental work'
13.7.07
On the terrace
On the terrace
Originally uploaded by Miss Aniela.
Dressed like Dennis the Menace (indeed, with previously-posted Gnasher lurking nearby) I embarked upon one of the weirdest clone images in the history of my photostream, with the vague idea of a narrative in which one Aniela looks punitively at the camera because of what the viewer has done to upset the other Aniela, who is being consoled by, erm, another Aniela.
This was taken on the garden terrace of unspoilt (as in, uncloned-in) fresh new premises for lots of little Anielas to adorn - somebody else's house, which I have been raiding (not literally, though I might be dressed like a burglar) for its stock of exciting new mise-en-scene: further interesting composites to come. I thought I'd share this one first, because it turned out quite well after initial Adobe-fumbling which had me wishing I'd taken the pics indoors by the teacups instead
hoofdgerecht
hoofdgerecht
Originally uploaded by Clarence the Cross-eyed Lion.
he sign on the table reads: hoofdgerecht (hoofd = head = main, gerecht = course).
The other sign says:
- looking: 10 cents
- stroking: 20 cents
- taking a picture: 1 euro
- feeding: 30 cents.
On Queens Day kids put blankets on the streets and sell their surplus toys. These guys were a little more creative!
grizzly find
grizzly find
Originally uploaded by Clarence the Cross-eyed Lion.
I first thought this was just a clump of feathers, but when I picked it up I saw it was really a torn out bird leg.
I do hope it does not belong to the little twit I photographed a few days ago (I found the leg less than a foot away from where I saw the tit...
Whoever's leg it was, I'm sure the owner is missing it real bad.
What Do You Do When The Light Is Red But The Sign Says Greene?
What Do You Do When The Light Is Red But The Sign Says Greene?
Originally uploaded by Sister72.
It looks like this car just pulled up to a giant mural of NYC, but actually it's the real thing.
12.7.07
Playing at mermaids
Playing at mermaids
Originally uploaded by Miss Aniela.
It took me all of a Typhoo-sipping afternoon to get this image right. Swivelling the bathroom clones in Photoshop trying to decide what looks best. Photography may be the hobby I most enjoy, but it's surprising how much stress it can also induce in me... and when CS2 keeps freezing and its Ctrl+Alt+Del to the rescue again and again, I'm relieved to finally have the image I am happy with. No, over the moon with. I love it and hope you do too :-)
My tights were only 40p from Help the Aged...
Fethiye Tomb
Fethiye Tomb
Originally uploaded by Peli Cans.
This is one of twenty rock tombs from ancient Telmessos. These Lycian tombs were carved out of rock (limestone) as early as 4 C BC and overlook the modern town of Fethiye. This is an example of a tomb built for a wealthier person and is elaborately carved.
Ölüdeniz
Ölüdeniz
Originally uploaded by feridun.
This beach was chosen by some famous newspapers as the most beautiful beach of the world.
I can agree. I was there and it is really beautiful. It has a very calm sea with most beautifull beach with very white stones and sand. I recommend people who visits turkey to go at least one time there.
It is in Fethiye. It is very close from Antalya Airport but more closer Airport is Dalaman's. There is tours from every major place in Turkey, which is very cheap.
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